woke up to the phone ringing and when it stopped I remembered coming into Denver back in 76 couldn't remember if I was heading out or back to the coast but I was picked up outside of town to the north by a dude he was a nice guy friendly Scientologist talked about checking it out and I didn't see anything too weird about him and said why not I'll check it out so we were driving into Denver and he said someone was tailing us. I don't make this shit up Timmy only what I accurately remember no dressing no supposition unless so identifeied as such so he says we're being tailed then I swear to God we get a flat BAM and another one? I think so. anyway it was like we were being what you call it fired upon so we took off on foot at his suggestion fast and I had all my shit which was a lot and heavy and i said go on go on he ran off I remember all that pretty clear he ran off quick I felt the weight and stupidity of all that stuff trying to carry it not travelling light enough and that presence right behind me. they wipe the memory after they come in that's how they did it how they do it I kept waking up to the aftermath blank but knowing they'd been in there again and nothing I could do about it couldn't really see it coming. and the memory goes blank right there. just stops.
that is not a delusion. not a fantasy. and just one of a bunch that all tie in. but to what? to who? why etc. fuck all of it is mostly how I feel these days. until real recently I thought this was my life work to figure this stuff out that the answer to my guilt or innocence lay here.

posted by Juke at 2:57 PM [edit]